I am in a long distance relationship and have been for 3 years, 3 months and 25 days (or 1213 days, to be very exact).
Anybody’s first reaction when I tell them this is, “wow, that must be hard!” And that is true. However it is 2016 now, we have all means of communication that previous generations didn’t. In fact, my boyfriend and I actually met via Twitter! (It’s quite a funny story but I’ll save that post for another day). Anyway, now we have FaceTime, Skype, iMessage, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Whatsapp and more. But sometimes I find there’s too many means of communication, my boyfriend and I often end up having 2 separate conversations with each other at the same time!
Despite living in the 21st Century, there are still difficulties when it comes to long distance relationships. My main difficulty with distance is that I can be an envious person, it’s a part of me that I dislike greatly and try to work on all the time. Envy is not healthy in a “LDR”, at all. My boyfriend is a musician which means his social life often consists of night-time gigs in places where there are girls and alcohol. I get jealous of people who get to spend more time with him than I do, again, that’s silly and I know. The whole point of an LDR is TRUST and if you don’t have even a tiny bit of that then it’s just not going to work. However, over the past year I have improved my feelings surrounding this a lot. It is sometimes easy to feel a little lost in an LDR as miscommunication is very common. I’m slowly managing to let things slide and not over think every detail of everything – I have my moments though!
Yes, there are a large number of difficulties and commitments that come with a long distance relationship. Factors such as, travel costs, finding time to see each other, judgemental people, jealousy and (as mentioned above) the dreaded miscommunication.
However, over time, especially 3 years worth of time, these negatives can be outweighed by positives.
First of all, you’re never “that annoying couple” who are always together and you get to be your own person who has their own routine/social life/interests.
When you finally get to see your other half again you know how much it means to them. Travelling long distances is difficult and expensive but if someone is willing to do that for you multiple times then you know how much they care.
In a LDR you often get to stay with each other for a while so you’re not just doing the same thing every time you see them. You get to make plans and go places and have really fun dates with each other. Sometimes it’s also great to just sit in your pyjamas and watch films too – simply because you’re with your other half and you’re happy! My boyfriend and I are currently sat in bed while he watches videos and I blog, we haven’t spoken for about 2 hours but we’re happy! You know that as long as you’re with each other, you’re comfortable.
You don’t have to be presentable all the time, if your partner is staying with you for more than a week then you’re going to have your off days. I think I wear less makeup when I’m with my boyfriend than when I’m not because he makes me feel beautiful no matter what state I’m in.
LDRs make you really good at planning. You can’t just say “right, I’m popping ’round in 5 minutes”. You have to carefully plan when you’re going to see each other again and what you’re going to do when you’re together. It may sound boring but it is a lot of fun. Especially for a minor perfectionist like me!
You get to experience true love. Yes, the kind that you see in movies! LDRs bring out your inner romance that you never know you had because you know that every time you see your partner has to be as memorable as the last. Both parties must be equally committed too so you know the love is equal and secure.
Your relationship is more than physical attraction. You fall in love with their personality because you can’t be by their side, holding them when you want to. I actually fell in love with my boyfriend before we’d even Skyped for the first time! And if you fall in love with their personality that means they’ve fallen in love with yours too! (Referring back to; “you don’t have to be presentable all the time”.)
Yes, long distance can be hard, sometimes. They’re full of petty squabbles, lonely nights and jealousy. But they are worth it.
So worth it.